2016 Oscars: The Revenant

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Source: Wikipedia

The Revenant, AKA, Leonardo DiCaprio tries everything he and a crazy Spaniard can think of to get him an Oscar. This film is the elephant in the room (or should I say bear?) Everyone has been talking about it for months. “Oh, Leo, simply must get hisĀ first Oscar!” This movie is beautiful. The landscapes and on-site filming definitely paid off. Gorgeous Chilean landscapes pretending to be Wyoming, overlaid with a CGI bear that was actually tastefully done, and some killer makeup work for all of Glass’ (Leo’s) implausibly severe injuries. While watching the film, I actually really enjoyed it. DiCaprio and Tom Hardy were absolutely captivating. I know, I know: it seems like I’m just buying into the hype, but DiCaprio’s physical acting worked remarkably well with little dialogue. However, I felt that in many scenes Hardy seemed to steal the show, creating the most complete character in the film, whose motivations and selfish brutality came through in every interaction he had. So between the strong acting, beautiful camera work, and some really startling, shock-value-type scenes (eating bison liver, neck cauterizing, Tauntauning*, and other nasty stuff), the movie is definitely good.

However, the more I think about it, the less this movie makes any sense. It’s shot and played like a period drama (or at least historical fiction), but the level of implausibility keeps escalating as the movie progresses. Quick *Spoiler* for the number of things Glass survives: bear attack, waterfall, riding a horse off a cliff, and all of the sanitary, injury, and climate-based complications he encounters. He crawls for miles, survives being shot, heals really fast(?), can swim with a broken leg, spends a night Tauntauning in his dead horse, and still is only barely behind Hardy the whole time? Eh, plot-wise it gets kind of lost in all of the fantabulous stunts that DiCaprio (or really his stunt double/CGI-workers) go through. Also, sorry, but the ending was dumb; there are huge plot holes with the Native Americans’ subplot and their role at the end is confusing. Also, the final fight scene is kind of anticlimactic after all of the lead in, the decoy horse, etc. *Spoiler* Hardy and DiCaprio clumsily rolling around in the snow seemed too drawn out and didn’t fit with the grit of the first 2.5 hours of the movie. It’s hard to see how there’s any emotional resolution for Glass, since he doesn’t have anything left to live for, presumably.

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Literally Oscar bait. Source: ivassalkapcsolatosproblemak.tumblr.com

 

Overall, the movie is worth watching for the views and the acting, but why does the academy keep giving things to Innaritu? I completely disagree with the Academy’s choice two years in a row to give the Best Director award to this dude who continues to artsy fartsy his way to Oscars. Boo. Blorg! Pick & Academy Pick: Best Actor; Blorg! Pick: Best Supporting Actor; Academy Pick: Best Director

 

For more Blorgin’ on the Oscars, click here!


*Tauntauning (verb) the act of cutting open and climbing into a dead animal to keep warm in a wintry night. Anyone who doesn’t know what a Tauntaun is needs to drop everything and watch the original Star Wars trilogy (Ep. IV-VI, obviously). The act of Tauntauning was made famous by Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back and replicated unironically by Innaritu’s The Revenant.

The medical feasibility of Tauntauning has been rigorously documented in this brilliant and amusing article by Keith Veronese.

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Cute critter until you have to sleep in its gut. Image Credit: i09.gizmodo.com